if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
