My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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