The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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