my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
