I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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