Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize