the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
