2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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