do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
