small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
