She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
