gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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