He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize