i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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