On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
