He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
my poor anus
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
