Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
