He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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