what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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