The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
