I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize