Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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