I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
