I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
