Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
