just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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