i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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