I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
