Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize