Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
