You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
