All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
