Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
