It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize