drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
