my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
