had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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