new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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