apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
