Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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