Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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