Got a toothbrush?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
