She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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