Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize