and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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