I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
