We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
