Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
