why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
