U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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