i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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