I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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