The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
