If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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