if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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