i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
