We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We don't watch enough power rangers
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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