i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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