You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
