What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
