the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
well you can't waste a boner
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
