Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
