Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
