i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want to be your penis for a week.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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