There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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