So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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