how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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