roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
