The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
