i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
