Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
