big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
