I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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