so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize