i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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