I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How does one acquire holy water?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
