if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
