I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
