OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
